Guilt is such a tricky thing. Thanks for sharing your insight!
I've been a big fan of shifting my "I'm sorry" to "Thanks for your patience" where I can. I say it at least twice a day, often when I join a meeting I'm supposed to be leading 3 minutes late. Am I sorry? Kinda. I really appreciate punctuality, but I probably used those 3 minutes to pee after my two previous back-to-back calls and I'd make the same choice again. And maybe I'm actually a bit sorry I didn't make it 4 minutes so I could grab some string cheese to fight off the hanger that's been building.
You are an agent that wears their heart on their sleeve, so much abundance of love and respect for authors. We’re lucky to have you in the writing community and a champion for authors!
Thank you for the massive amount of time it took to compose this. It's so very helpful. And if we're honest with ourselves, guilt plays a part in regular life! We just deal with it by recognizing it, accepting it, processing it, and seeing it for what it is - the effect of actually CARING about something. Thanks again. Still looking fwd to querying you with my "voicey" memoir. ;
Yes, you're right--guilt definitely plays a part in all of life! Thanks for reading, Sherry, and I look forward to getting your query this fall when I reopen!!
This was a great read! It can certainly be tough to balance the passion vs the product in writing spaces, and I imagine that struggle is even worse when you're in the position of choosing which projects to take on. Of course it's good for agents (and any other gatekeepers within the industry) to be aware of the human element involved in writing, selling, and buying books, but feeling lasting, personal guilt for each one would make anyone miserable! Ideally, authors also know this and--just as agents hopefully don't linger in the twinge of guilt--don't get too caught up in the sting of a rejection before they continue along on their writing journey. Much appreciated insight as always! :)
Thanks Aly! =) Yes, that balance of human element empathy / not getting too hung up feels like a tight rope at times, but I think with practice it IS possible to hit that balance... most of the time (with some stumbles heh heh ;)
So well spoken. I know that if you took on one of my projects it would be with the kind of passion that I am seeking in an agent. Thank you. In future posts can you address whether sending out a manuscript too early before big revisions bars the manuscript from that agent representing that book in the future? Or did I shoot myself in the foot?
Great question! Off the cuff, it's hard to answer because it TOTALLY depends on the manuscript. Some don't need big revisions! Even within books I've written (and I've written in the double digits at this point), there are some that took many drafts and many (significant) revisions to nail. Others came out "clean" off the bat--in fact, my debut MADE FOR YOU is still very similar to the 1st draft. So sorry to be vague, but--it really does depend on the book. I'd always share with beta readers/critique partners before querying, and get some outside perspective on whether others feel it's ready. Sometimes we can be so close to our own work, it's hard to tell!
Thank you for sharing. As an author, every rejection breaks my heart and I cry way more often than I used to, even when someone I know gets a book deal and I'm supposed to be happy in some way — but much like you, I know I can't put this all on myself. It's not my fault I was born when I was, or learned to write when I did, or attempted querying when everyone gave me the green light. All I can do is learn and protect my heart from here. I often wonder if everyone who told me that I should query, that I'm a good writer, or that they loved my book was lying to me, but the reality is that not every agent can be the right agent for me. Maybe there is no agent for me, but if I stop trying, I'll never know. All we can do is our best.
Oof, I feel this. I queried for 4 1/2 years and DEFINITELY cried many times--and 100% felt that surge of jealousy when other writers who were in the query trenches with me found their agents and got their book deals when all I was getting was "no." Sending hugs!!!
Guilt is such a tricky thing. Thanks for sharing your insight!
I've been a big fan of shifting my "I'm sorry" to "Thanks for your patience" where I can. I say it at least twice a day, often when I join a meeting I'm supposed to be leading 3 minutes late. Am I sorry? Kinda. I really appreciate punctuality, but I probably used those 3 minutes to pee after my two previous back-to-back calls and I'd make the same choice again. And maybe I'm actually a bit sorry I didn't make it 4 minutes so I could grab some string cheese to fight off the hanger that's been building.
hahaha--always choose the string cheese ;)
This is really good insight. Gonna try to drill this into my brain!!
You are an agent that wears their heart on their sleeve, so much abundance of love and respect for authors. We’re lucky to have you in the writing community and a champion for authors!
*all the heart eyed emojis back at you*
Thank you for the massive amount of time it took to compose this. It's so very helpful. And if we're honest with ourselves, guilt plays a part in regular life! We just deal with it by recognizing it, accepting it, processing it, and seeing it for what it is - the effect of actually CARING about something. Thanks again. Still looking fwd to querying you with my "voicey" memoir. ;
Yes, you're right--guilt definitely plays a part in all of life! Thanks for reading, Sherry, and I look forward to getting your query this fall when I reopen!!
Thanks. MS may not be ready by then, but when it is - I'll reach out. Excellent post. Thanks again for ALL this info. It's encouraging and validating.
This was a great read! It can certainly be tough to balance the passion vs the product in writing spaces, and I imagine that struggle is even worse when you're in the position of choosing which projects to take on. Of course it's good for agents (and any other gatekeepers within the industry) to be aware of the human element involved in writing, selling, and buying books, but feeling lasting, personal guilt for each one would make anyone miserable! Ideally, authors also know this and--just as agents hopefully don't linger in the twinge of guilt--don't get too caught up in the sting of a rejection before they continue along on their writing journey. Much appreciated insight as always! :)
Thanks Aly! =) Yes, that balance of human element empathy / not getting too hung up feels like a tight rope at times, but I think with practice it IS possible to hit that balance... most of the time (with some stumbles heh heh ;)
So well spoken. I know that if you took on one of my projects it would be with the kind of passion that I am seeking in an agent. Thank you. In future posts can you address whether sending out a manuscript too early before big revisions bars the manuscript from that agent representing that book in the future? Or did I shoot myself in the foot?
Great question! Off the cuff, it's hard to answer because it TOTALLY depends on the manuscript. Some don't need big revisions! Even within books I've written (and I've written in the double digits at this point), there are some that took many drafts and many (significant) revisions to nail. Others came out "clean" off the bat--in fact, my debut MADE FOR YOU is still very similar to the 1st draft. So sorry to be vague, but--it really does depend on the book. I'd always share with beta readers/critique partners before querying, and get some outside perspective on whether others feel it's ready. Sometimes we can be so close to our own work, it's hard to tell!
Thank you for sharing. As an author, every rejection breaks my heart and I cry way more often than I used to, even when someone I know gets a book deal and I'm supposed to be happy in some way — but much like you, I know I can't put this all on myself. It's not my fault I was born when I was, or learned to write when I did, or attempted querying when everyone gave me the green light. All I can do is learn and protect my heart from here. I often wonder if everyone who told me that I should query, that I'm a good writer, or that they loved my book was lying to me, but the reality is that not every agent can be the right agent for me. Maybe there is no agent for me, but if I stop trying, I'll never know. All we can do is our best.
Oof, I feel this. I queried for 4 1/2 years and DEFINITELY cried many times--and 100% felt that surge of jealousy when other writers who were in the query trenches with me found their agents and got their book deals when all I was getting was "no." Sending hugs!!!
Let me just say that I appreciate even a form rejection, which I received from you last week. I shared some lessons learned in my post “Twenty Queries In . . .” https://open.substack.com/pub/mfaandbeyond/p/twenty-queries-in?r=3gfzt&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
ooh, thanks for sharing!!